Monday, August 10, 2009

It is going to be worth it all

Today is the day. I dove in to one of the biggest steps of faith ever. Todd and I have brought our babies home to school them. What a challenge! Today was the beginning of a journey that I know will be so rich and full of change. Well, it is was good overall. The kids had a great time and responded well. It definitely needs improvement but it was real. The pressure is so different. We enjoyed the night. Todd found me reading books to the little ones after such a full day. Also, able to take a walk with Lainey who made the comment that we might need to get another teacher to help. I thought it was so chaotic that I had to laugh. It was definitely a full day but I feel so close to them. I feel a connection that I don't think I have ever felt or it has just been a long time. I look forward tommorrow. I want to enjoy what God is doing.

Why can't I just have great faith and trust Him. He has never let me down! He has allowed hard times and great voids, but they never fail to drive me away from the recognition of my need of Him to be my life. Our bible study this morning was on Colossians 3:4, "Christ, who is your life,..." Charles Spurgeon writes a wonderful sermon on this small but powerful passage. He cannot be part of our life. We can't just add him to our own agenda and make it fit. He has to be the substance, sustenance, solace, object and exemplar of our life. Spurgeon writes, "If we have close fellowship with Him we will grow more like Him... How safe, how honored, how happy is the Christian since Christ is his life!" The calling of a Chirstian is so far more sacrificial than the church wants to admit. If "to live is Christ," as Paul says, then why should our sacrifice be any less than our own life as well. I know that I do not comprehend that in my own human understanding. But, I know that if we pray the prayers with the right intent and true words of gratitude, we will see glimpses of the depth of sacrifice that make the religous shudder and scoff. I have believed many lies of the enemy. My committment is to listen to the voice of truth that tells me a different story. (Thank you Casting Crowns for that anthem) Not a voice that makes me feel special. One that satisfies my soul. After all, it is what I desire most. It may a some times become a desire cloaked by the things of the world but they slide through never to fill. It is a place that only can be filled by the one for which I was created to love and praise. Oh Lord, teach my heart how to love you.

I did not mean for this to turn into a sermon. I am preaching it to my own weak faith. God, you are good and I know that full well.

Praise God for Todd, my cheerleader. He is my biggest fan in this whole journey. He is my best friend. Thank God for a friend who tells the truth and wants God's best for me even if it causes him to have to sacrifice. Proverbs says, "The wounds of a friend can be trusted." I want it real. I am tired of nailing ugly plastic fruit to dead faith. We all should be. Praise God from whom all blessings flow. Praise him all creatures here below. Praise him above ye heavenly hosts. Praise Father, Son and Holy Ghost. Amen!

P.S. Can't wait to share about our precious church family.